Esoterrorism

One of these presidential hopefuls just made a doodie in their pants.

I’m all too familiar with great fan made ads not making it—this one is pretty great.

thedailywhat:

Fan-Made Ad of the Day: From the funny folks who brought you the best Doritos Super Bowl spot that won’t appear during the Super Bowl comes another great Doritos Super Bowl spot that was simply too good for Doritos to air. (That must be the reason it didn’t win their Crash the Super Bowl competition because I could think for a thousand years and still be unable to come up with a better explanation.) 

[reddit.]

dailytinyconfession:

What he doesn’t know…

Cried, I was laughing so hard.

kriskristoffersonsbeard:

A few highlights:

- “tell her this is the classiest place you’ve ever eaten.”

- “order spaghetti with meatballs and place a breadstick in between two of them and ask her if your plate reminds her of anything as you stare at her, stroking your straw”

- “Make sure when your server asks you for your drink order you insist on smelling the lid of the Lambrusco.”

barackobama:

We’ve updated our jobs chart with the good news out of the Bureau of Labor Statistics this morning—200,000 jobs added to the economy this month, for 22 straight months of job growth.

IT’S BACK! SAW A COMMERCIAL FOR IT LAST NIGHT!!!

wazman21:

You will NEVER party THIS hard.  Ever.

She can’t. Stop. Blinking.

This is as much a commercial for the HTC Rezound as it is for dropping acid.

barackobama:

Why should you, gentle Tumblr reader, be psyched about new fuel efficiency standards the EPA and DOT proposed this week? Our infographic breaks down what the new standards mean for our environment, for our economy, and for your wallet.