Esoterrorism

Cried, I was laughing so hard.

kriskristoffersonsbeard:

A few highlights:

- “tell her this is the classiest place you’ve ever eaten.”

- “order spaghetti with meatballs and place a breadstick in between two of them and ask her if your plate reminds her of anything as you stare at her, stroking your straw”

- “Make sure when your server asks you for your drink order you insist on smelling the lid of the Lambrusco.”